Auditioning Against Type

I have wanted to play Laura in The Glass Menagerie since I first read it at age 14. I love Tennessee Williams. His work is epic, beautiful, languid, passionate...it's a dream to play all of his heroines. I've seen the show done several times...three times in this very area, in fact. They were all pretty darned good.

Laura is not a natural role for me. I am often cast as the ingenue because of my long hair and young face, as well as my ability to play a convincing twit. :) And I've loved many of the roles...Alice Sycamore (You Can't Take It with You), Gillian the Witch (Bell, Book & Candle), and Shelby & Annelle (Steel Magnolias).

But something unexpected happened in the summer of 2006. I'd just finished playing Nora in A Doll's House when I was cast as Wanda in The Baby Dance. My character was a hard, Southern, trailer trash pregnant woman selling her unborn child to a wealthy couple because she couldn't afford to raise the four kids she already had, much less a fifth. In short, a polar opposite of my normal persona, look, etc. I brightened my red hair to a garish shade and wore it up in a clippy...I bounced around with a fake belly and unflattering clothes, and it was far from a glamorous role. I got to be funny, crass, greedy, bitter, and tragic all at once. And after that, I was hooked. I wanted to actually ACT.

I'm not saying that I haven't been truly acting for my entire life, but it's much easier to be cute and funny and sweet onstage when you're cute and funny and sweet in real life. It's much harder to pretend to be unconcerned with your appearance, to let the chubby or the blemishes hang out, when in reality you strive for perfection.

After that, I knew that I wanted to balance myself out with more challenging roles. I got that opportunity again in November 2007 when I was cast as Elizabeth Proctor in The Crucible. That was another dream role...I just never thought I'd play it in my 20s. But I did...and again, the tied back hair and baggy dress...combined with not only NO make up but "age" make up (blue circles under the eyes, whitish lipstick, drawn on crows feet)...it was again difficult for me and my vanity. And pretending to play a religious, bitter, cold woman whose husband has had an affair...and then finding him again only to lose him...every night was a sob fest and I thought I was going to need therapy! But to play such a role...it was my privilege.

Going back to Glass Menagerie...I wanted to play Laura. Beneath that shy and tongue-tied girl is a woman who does have strength to deal with her mother, to banter with her brother, and to lose herself in her imaginary world. She's beautiful and tragic, and her still waters run deep.

Sitting through about 40 "Laura" auditions over 2 nights, I was struck by the fact that no one really seemed to understand her. Oh, they did shy and soft spoken just fine. They were awkward with The Gentleman Caller and brow beaten by Amanda. But there was no spine beneath their portrayals. No spark of life to make her interesting or layered. My friend Heather, who played Laura a few years ago, was the best audition easily. She understood the role. She will most likely win the role. And I'm happy for her because she's lovely and talented.

But back to me-hey! it's my blog! ;) I walked into the audition totally prepared...knowing everything I wanted to portray, having worked on my body language, expressions, motivations. I always dress as generically as possible for an audition...which generally means normal jeans, a plain shirt or sweater, simple earrings and flats. At 5'6, you'd be surprised at how many guys I tower over at an audition if I wear even the smallest heel! I always pin my hair back at the sides or wear a low ponytail so that my face can be seen.

I sat for 2 hours that first night. I got to read half a scene with a prospective Gentleman Caller. It went well, although I think she took one look at my bright hair and animated face and thought "absolutely not"...I'm not sure she listened to me. Or maybe she did and she just didn't see what she wanted.

I sat for an additional 2 hours the second night. I knew I couldn't make callbacks, so I'd asked permission to come again the second night of auditions, and let the director know if there wasn't time to read me that was ok. There was time to read me, but she opted not to...I think she'd already seen enough. Which evidently wasn't good enough.

I didn't get a callback, which is unusual for me but at least I appreciate not having my time wasted. And I am supremely disappointed. Yet another dream role slipping through my fingers. I only am sad because I didn't get a chance to fight for the role, to prove that I am more than just an ingenue. See, cause...I am not really the typical ingenue...due to my illness I haven't been a size 6 in years. And just because I look 23...well, I'll be 32 in December. So at some point I have to stake my claim with real roles, not just fluffy ones. They certainly won't last forever.

I will go back to playing Roz in Moon over Buffalo this weekend...a comedic ingenue role with an amazing cast that I love. And then I will tackle two fun roles at the NVTA festival this summer...one a terrifying Russian opera singer and the other, Eve...as in Adam & Eve.

And along the way I will keep trying, keep auditioning against type...wanting to let the theatre world know what I am capable of...I hope it's as much as I think it is.

And someday, before it's too late, I will play Laura.

Thanks for listening, o blogging gods. :) Break a leg!